Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Characters: Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson
Prompt: #1: Beginnings
Word Count: 923
Rating: All Ages
Author's Notes: In case you can't tell, this fic goes AU after "In the Line of Duty".
Sam didn't trust Jolinar at first. Who would trust a parasite that took up residence in one's brain?
She didn't want to go through the 'Gate. She hated herself for not being able to resist. She hated Jolinar for making her kill that guard more.
When they emerged from the Stargate, Jolinar turned to the DHD and dialed another planet. Then another. Then another.
Sam lost count after the sixth (freezing cold) planet.
They rested on an uninhabited planet. Sam raged against the captor in her head while the sun warmed her face and the cool water trickled between her toes.
That night, the dreams came. Dreams of gray eyes and sparkling crystal caves. Dreams of sulfur and cruel laughter and--
Sam had jolted awake and had crawled toward a bush. It wasn't until she stopped retching that she realized she had control of her body. Jolinar's presence had receded to a corner of her mind.
As Sam sat and shivered in the aftermath of the nightmare, she wondered if Jolinar had been telling the truth.
There was no running from the Goa'uld. And it wasn't like she could fight for very long. That left one thing.
'Who are you, really?'
[I am Jolinar of Malkshur. I am Tok'ra.]
'You've said that before. What does that mean?'
[Tok'ra literally means 'against Ra'. We are a resistance group against the Goa'uld. We do not believe in taking hosts against their will.]
'What about me?' Sam asked.
She could feel Jolinar's self-loathing. [You were... a mistake. I am willing to take another host and allow you to return home.]
Sam considered this. She had no GDO, so the SGC was unlikely to open the gate. Even if she had, there was no way they'd allow a known enemy to return--even if she could prove she was just Sam.
'No. That won't be possible.'
[I am sorry.] And, indeed, Sam felt sorrow coming from the Tok'ra.
'Jolinar? Why was it so important you get off Earth?'
A struggle. It was odd, feeling two separate consciousnesses inside her head. [An ashrak is hunting me. A Goa'uld assassin. If he finds me, he will kill us both.]
'Well, that sounds just peachy.'
[I will find another--]
'Oh, no, you won't,' Sam replied grimly. 'You really think I'm going to allow you to put someone else's life in danger? Someone who won't even realize what's happening?'
[Very well. Then you will accept me as your symbiote?] By now, Sam had felt fear, anger, nervousness, and sorrow from Jolinar. But now she felt something new.
She considered saying something snide, but blocked it.
'Yes. I will.'
Relief. [Thank you.]
Sam tried to stand. When she fell over, she thought wryly, 'You know, if we're going to be sharing the same body, I think we'd better lay down some ground rules.'
Jolinar felt amused. [Oh? Like what?]
'I don't know. Who controls the body when, who gets to speak, things like that. Oh, and if you have a boyfriend, I'd like to know now,' she said cheekily.
Silence. 'Jolinar?' Sam hoped Jolinar couldn't hear her mental cursing. 'What is it?'
Gray eyes. A soft, gentle smile. Guilt, fear, desire... love.
Sam swallowed--or was it Jolinar? Before she could ask, the man's name popped into her head.
Lantash and Martouf. Symbiote and host. Beloved of Jolinar and Rosha.
Now Jolinar and Samantha.
[I am sorry, Samantha. I wish I had not--]
'It's too late for that now.' Sam tried to be gentle. 'Do you know where they are?'
[I... yes. But...]
'But you don't want to put them in harm's way?'
'I don't think they'd care.' As the conversation continued, bits of Jolinar's memories and emotions of Lantash and Martouf mixed in. 'They love you.'
[Us now, Samantha.]
'Us?' Sam was perplexed. 'But they haven't met me.'
[Perhaps not. But as we blend, we will feel many of the same things. As I love, you love, and as you love, I do. Our knowledge, memories, and emotions will intermingle. We are not Goa'uld, to take and take without giving in return, Samantha. You allow me to use your body, and in return, I strengthen it. Ours is a truly symbiotic relationship.]
'Oh.' Sam didn't know what more to say. She thought of Daniel's wife Sha're, taken as a host for Amonet, Apophis's wife. She wondered what he would think of the Tok'ra.
[Do you care for him?] Jolinar asked.
'Daniel?' Sam replied in surprise. 'He's a brilliant man and a wonderful friend. But I don't--he's married.'
[I see.] Jolinar paused. 'I have heard of Amonet. I have heard her host is most beautiful. This is Sha're?]
'Yeah.' Sam hoped Daniel found his wife, and that Teal'c succeeded in his fight to free the Jaffa, and that Jack... well, she hoped he moved on and didn't blame himself. She apologized to Cassie for scaring her (drawing a wince from Jolinar), and wished Janet the best in raising the child she had come to think of like her own daughter.
Sam and Jolinar sat by the stream, listening to the water trickled over the rocks as Sam said her goodbyes to her loved ones on Earth.
She never had gotten to tell her father she was sorry. She hoped he knew that she loved him, no matter what had happened between them.
A few hours later, the clearing by the stream was empty. A standing pool of light opened, and swallowed a single lonesome figure.