You found out you were adopted?
Probably become really angry at my mom for not telling me and go through my childhood like that...
You inherited a million dollars?
Pay off my college tuition, then go to Dell and by all of their top-of-the-line products. Because I am a technogeek.
You could be invisible?
You mean I'm not?
You could visit any planet?
Um... I like to breathe, so I'll stay here, thanks.
You had a week to live?
Skip class, lose my virginity, and slap my aunt. Not necessarily in that order.
You found a cure for cancer?
*snort* Probably get sued for the patent rights.
You lost your leg?
I'll have to go with cakemage's answer for this one: "I'd get a prosthetic one. Duh."
You had superhero powers?
I'd never have to sit on the train again.
You gained 50 lbs?
Get really depressed.
You could live anywhere in the world?
I like Boston. I'll stay here--maybe not in a dorm...
You could travel back in time?
A time without e-mail? Blasphemy!
You could eat anything and not get fat?
*blink* But you would still get sick from overeating. So what's the point?
You suddenly were 70 years old?
Rip of Medicare for as much as I could.
You could breathe underwater?
I still would feel uncomfortable in a bathing suit.
Your television stopped working?
If it's a Tuesday at 7 p.m., cry. Any other day, go out and buy a new one.
You could be your parents for a day?
You had no parents?
Your head was made of clay?
Soft clay or hard clay? 'Cause hard clay would break kinda easily.
You could show people your dreams?
They'd think, "What the fuck is this woman on?"
You could fly?
Air traffic controllers, eat your hearts out.
You could influence people's minds?
I would feel much better about myself.
You didn't need sleep?
But I like sleep. Sleep is good.
There were no laws?
We'd all be in big, big trouble.
Food had no smell?
Without smell, food has no taste. So, again, what's the point?
Everybody looked identical?
I get bored easily, so I'd probably hole myself up in my room and talk to people over the Internet. Oh, I already do that?
You were the tallest person alive?
No. Just... no.
You could remember everything you read, heard, or saw?
That would make taking exams a hell of a lot easier.
You had one key that fits every lock?
You could control the weather?
No, thanks. I'd probably end up hitting people with lightning bolts just 'cause they pissed me off.
The sun never went down?
You could read people's minds?
You could be a part of any TV family?
The only ones that aren't dysfunctional are completely boring.
You could relive your happiest memory?
*pets computer* Mine!
You didn't have to work for a living?
Why? I'd sit in front of the computer all day, anyway.
Someone offered you $100,000 for one of your eyes?
Depends. If I could get a magical eye like Mad-Eye Moody...
You could spend 24 hours with anyone in the world?
Could it be more than one person? No? Damn. Then... my sister. Not the answer you were expecting, was it? :-)
You were offered $5,000 to break up with your boy/girlfriend?
I've never had one, so I really couldn't say.
You could be any cartoon character?
Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny rocks!
You could be any animal?
A cat. Cats are cute.
You could wipe out any one kind of music?
I have. It's called "Gaelic Rap". (Don't ask. Believe me.)
Your friends knew everything about you?
If they didn't, they wouldn't be friends.
Someone offered you $5,000 to wear your parents clothes for a month?
You could take back something you've said?
Who doesn't want to do that at times?
You had to pick a car to symbolize you in some way?
A comfortable four-door sedan. Elegant, expensive, and boring.
You had to pick a slogan that fit your life?
"The trouble is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so."--Terry Pratchett, Eric
You didn't agree with your friend's behavior?
*sigh* Probably keep my mouth shut. Because I am a passive wimp.
You were troubled and needed someone to talk to at 3:00 am?
You could eliminate one food from the face of the earth?
That would destroy the entire food chain. I don't want to become Rincewind, thanks.
You were asked to describe three secrets of a lasting friendship?
Honesty, empathy, and forgiveness.
You could be someone else?
If I'm not me, who else could I be?
You went to a party and realized marijuana was being smoked?
Leave. I can't stand the smell.
You had a friend that talked about you behind your back?
Ignore it. If s/he's not worth my friendship, s/he's not worth my concern.
A woman became the next president of the US?
Hallelujah. Anyone's better than the Shrub.
You could see through walls?
Again, blackmail. Do you realize how much money you could make collecting information for certain... people, as well?
You could communicate with animals?
I already do. They just don't communicate back.
You discovered your good friend was selling drugs?
I'd become really upset, but not do much about it. Again, the passive thing.
You were the ruler of the world?
Hah-hah! No more Britney Spears!
You found out you have an identical twin living in another state?
Poor thing. She looks like me?
You were one of 10 people in a lifeboat that could only hold 8?
Sorry, buddy--you weren't gonna live much longer, anyway.
You got organized?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You're funny.
You took time to smell the roses?
I wouldn't have time to get to class.
You could invent, design, and create one thing?
I don't care what it is, as long as it makes me a lot of money. And it hasn't already been invented. No lawsuits, please.
You could rid one personal pet peeve?
"A'ight." Is it really that difficult to say "All right", barring a jaw injury?
You could eliminate your greatest fear?
Without fear, there is no feeling of safety. Sorry to sound all philosophical, but without variety, what's the point of life?
You school put security cameras in restrooms?
I would never use another public restroom again. Wait...
You saw a cook sneeze in a bowl of soup delivered next to you?
Eew! Get out of there and go to McDonald's. I expect that to happen there.