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*dies and is dead*

cakemage is my heathen goddess idol. I want to bear her snarky, twisted children.

When we're chatting, and I'm bored, she writes me stories. These stories are very un-boring. *grin*


Once upon a time, four members of JAG and four members of NCIS decided to do a reality show together. They would live in the same house and every move they made would be monitored. It wasn't a competition, just an excuse to be exhibitionists.

The eight castmembers were:

Tony Dinozzo (manslut)
Sarah MacKenzie (Prozac poster-child)
Abby Scuito (goth goddess)
Jennifer Coates (naive delinquent)
Leroy Jethro Gibbs (lust object)
Harmon Rabb Jr. (Elektra reincarnated)
Caitlin Todd (Catholic fetishist)
AJ Chegwidden (another lust object)

The first thing the castmembers did when they arrived was check out the bedrooms. There was one for the men, and one for the women. In each room, two king-sized beds were pushed together to make one large bed. No effort had been made to hide the numerous cameras placed inside each bedroom.

Harm was the first castmember in the diary room.

"There's no 'official' competion here, but everyone knows that we're all competing for the privelige of being the first to sleep with Abby and/or Gibbs." Harm sighed. "I don't really like my chances, though. Maybe I need to get rid of some of the competition..." He thought about it for a minute, then laughed. "On second thought, that would take too much effort. I'll just wait for a pity-fuck."

Later, we were able to spy on Abby and Jen, who were deep in conversation.

Okay, so they were just trying to pick each other up.

"So, how many tattoos do you have?" Jen asked, using her patented expression of wide-eyed innocence to its full effect.

"I don't really remember," Abby said, smirking, "why don't you come over here and count them for me?"

"That one works every time," Abby said in her diary room session a few hours later.

In another part of the house, Gibbs and Kate were having a very touching moment, made all the more touching by AJ's presence.

In the hot tub, Harm and Mac were having a different kind of touching moment. They were rebuilding their friendship by sharing tales of their latest conquests.

Tony, who had been listening from the pool, dubbed Mac the winner because he knew that most of her stories were true.

...Having had several girlfriends and a few boyfriends leave him for her.

Sadly, all of them died mysteriously.

Harm, remembering this, decided to revive his plan of getting rid of the supposed competition. "Hey, Mac," he said, "Tony's cute, don't you think? Maybe you should ask him out."

Mac, realizing what he was up to, smacked him 'round the head.

Tony, also having caught on, rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, good Lord, Harm. If you're that desperate, I'll sleep with you. But we have to make it quick, because I've got a phone sex/verbal abuse session with McGee at four."

Harm happily agreed and the two of them dashed off, leaving Mac alone in the pool. "Finally," she said, stretching out. She dried her hands and grabbed her cell phone, hitting speed dial. "Sam?" she asked upon receiving an answer. "Oh, hey, Janet." Her voice became low and sultry. "Miss me?"

Tune in next week, when Olivia and Alex, fresh from the Witness Protection Program, come over to party. Who will get laid next? All this and more, only on Whorehouse.

Comments

capecodgirl
Dec. 10th, 2004 08:23 pm (UTC)
Heeee! I love it.
tpeej
Dec. 10th, 2004 09:05 pm (UTC)
Well that lifted my spirits right up. Boy she should let those out a little more.
ctorres
Dec. 13th, 2004 08:44 pm (UTC)
ROFL... that's awesome.

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I love the world (xkcd)
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