No, I mean it. You really need to join. If only to follow the frickin' hilarious fic "Kerry Takes Washington". 'Cause dear Jesus, it is hysterical.
What, you don't believe me? Fine. Read this:
John lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. "I am a winner," he remarked. "I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a..." he yawned, "...winner." He blinked a few times and noticed his eyelids becoming heavier. "I am...a..." he said, and fell asleep.
"I DON'T HEAR YOU RECITING 'I AM A WINNER!'" came a shout from the next room.
John jerked awake and sat up. "Sorry! Sorry, Liz!"
"DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY!" she said back at him, "TELL ME YOU'RE A WINNER!"
"I am a winner," John said.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"I am a winner!" John said.
"I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"I AM A WINNER!" he shouted.
"WHAT?" Elizabeth shrieked back from the next room.
"I AM A MOTHERFUCKING WINNER!!!" he screamed.
"JOHN, THE CHILDREN!"
He sighed and collapsed back onto the bed and began to doze once more. He--
"WHAT ARE YOU?"
"A princess," he mumbled in the midst of his sleep.
In order to read the entire fic, you'll have to join the comm, because it's friends-locked. Now go! Laugh your asses off!