I know you're enamored with your new cell phone. However, the walkie-talkie feature is not meant for long conversations. Holy mother of God, you moron, when you're talking to your friends, use the phone, not the walkie-talkie.
Particularly when I'm sleeping.
You fucking asshat.
Your loving roommate,
EDIT: Oh my fucking Christ, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up...