"He's, like, a chronological liar--he lies in order."
"¿Cómo se dice 'bitch-slap' en español?"
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were staying in a hotel. While they were sleeping, the hotel caught on fire.
The engineer smelled smoke and came out of his room. He saw the fire, filled his trash can with water, and put the fire out.
The physicist smelled smoke and came out of his room. He saw the fire, and calculated the amount of water needed to put the fire out according to flame velocity, distance, and water pressure and trajectory. He poured the precise amount onto the flames, and the fire was extinguished.
The mathematician smelled smoke, came out of his room and saw the fire. He looked around and saw a fire extinguisher on the wall. He said, "Aha! A solution exists!" and went back to bed.
A psychologist was testing a mathematician's grip on reality. He put the mathematician in a kitchen. There was a teapot on the stove, a teacup on a table, and a teabag next to the cup. The psychologist told the mathematician to make a cup of tea.
The mathematician filled the teapot with water, turned on the burner, and put the teabag into the cup. After the water came to a boil, he poured it into the cup, making a perfect cup of tea.
The psychologist said, "Very good." He then put the teapot on the counter beside the stove and told the mathematician to make another cup of tea.
The mathematician placed the teapot on the stove, and sat down.
The confused psychologist said, "What are you doing?"
The mathematician replied, "I've reduced the problem to a previously found solution."