like a psychotic rainbow (raindroproses) wrote,
like a psychotic rainbow

Family and school issues

So I visited Mom yesterday. The visit went fairly well.

Is it wrong that I want to spend more time with my sister than my mother? I know it's probably natural--Robin and I are closer in age, and we've lived together longer than we lived with our mom. But I can't help but feel... well, ashamed. The strongest feeling I have on visits with Mom is pity. I know that I hate for people to pity me, and I know that Mom would be embarrassed if she knew.

*sigh* I hate being so confused.

On a lighter note, I may be getting a state grant to help pay my college tuition. If all goes well (which I really, really hope it does), I'll get $5,000 a year to go towards my tuition. Plus they'll pay it retroactively, meaning I'll get $10,000 this year--to pay off my outstanding balance from last year, and to start paying off my loans this year.

It's times like this that my social worker likes to say I should've gone to a state school. To which I say: uh, no, bitch.

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