like a psychotic rainbow (raindroproses) wrote,
like a psychotic rainbow

FF: Communication

Title: Communication

Author: raindroproses

Rating: G
Category: Vignette

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al.

Fandom: JAG
Spoilers: Through "Secret Agent Man"

Author's Notes: This is in response to this week's (10/12/03) challenge on 15minuteficlets.

She picked up the unfinished letter. What could she say? 'I'm sorry that you resigned your commission and traveled thousands of miles to save me? I'm sorry that you're flying planes for the CIA? I'm sorry...'

She wanted to apologize for so many things. How could she hurt him like that?

Putting the paper down, she stared out the window. Yes, he hurt her too, but that was no excuse. The usual banter that flowed between them had quickly turned to sniping--then hissed accusations--then nothing. She hadn't spoken to him in months. How was he? Where was he? Did he enjoy his work? Did he have a new partner? What was he or she like? She had so many questions to ask... but no one to ask them of.

Guilt. Guilt over so many things. Guilt that he lost his commission, his beloved career, his way of life. Guilt that he laid his heart on the line, and she smashed it like fragile glass. Guilt that she was relieved. Relieved to finally be free of her old feelings. Guilt that she was angry about her guilt.

She frowned. Why should she feel guilty? He decided to travel to Paraguay of his own free will. He disobeyed a direct order. He refused to show her how he truly felt until it was too late. She had moved on. She didn't need his approval anymore.

But she missed her partner, her friend, her confidante. There used to be a time where she could tell him anything--and he would do the same with her. They were the ultimate team in the courtroom and out of it.

When did everything begin to go downhill? Was it when Mic Brumby first arrived at JAG? Her Article 32 hearing? His change of designator? Her farce of an engagement? After the race two years ago, it had seemed like they were headed in the right direction. In fact, she had confessed her feelings to his best friend. Their time in Afghanistan had served to strengthen their weakened bond.

And then... she went TDY to Judiciary. He had not taken that well. His jealousy--and her anger over his once-amusing courtroom antics--had served to force the gap between them into a chasm.

Now, he was no longer an everyday fixture of her life. Perhaps it was true--you never appreciated it until it was gone.

When had they gone from being the best team at JAG, to being barely acquaintances? Could they get their friendship back? She sighed. She certainly hoped so.

Picking up a pen, Mac began a new letter. 'Dear Harm...'

By the way, the word was "unfinished".


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