1) Where do people get these names? "Ariona"? It looks like a misspelling of Arizona. Or a really demented way of spelling "Arianna", which, I agree with cakemage, sounds like a tranny name.
2) How can someone possibly switch tense that many times in 250 words?
3) Where can I find that card? 'Cause I wanna watch it burn, baby.
4) Since when does Gibbs cry, again? Uh, oh yeah, never. There is no fucking way in hell that the man would ever cry in public. And it would only be immediately after the death of a loved one, if ever.
5) Is it that difficult to find a goddamned beta reader? Is it? 250 words would be a five-minute job for a decent beta. Of course, a decent beta would also point out the ridiculous name (one that I can't see a man named Leroy Jethro choosing), the complete OOCness (Gibbs. Doesn't. Fucking. Cry.), the below-average spelling and puncutation ("to" is different from "too"--something I learned when I was seven, kthxbai), and the run-on sentences (protect the innocent, comma).
*breathes deeply* 'Kay. Done now. I think.