like a psychotic rainbow (raindroproses) wrote,
like a psychotic rainbow

NCIS Rant: The Immortal (OAD: 10/14/03)

That's it. Navy NCIS is officially my favorite television show. It has ousted JAG from the top spot--at least for this week.

This episode was fascinating. It was about a Navy seaman who became so obsessed with an online RPG that he began to think it was real.

The ep starts with people on a boat, drinking. One wants to go explore the coral reef, while the others are worried about sharks. Well, it turns out it isn't a shark the guy discovers--it's one Seaman Russell McDonald.

Cut to NCIS headquarters. Talking about the new case. Gibbs tells Kate and Tony that the body was found in Roosevelt Roads.

"Roosevelt Roads," Tony says, eyes wide.


"That's in Puerto Rico." You can hear the longing in Tony's voice.

"Yeah," says Gibbs, not really seeing the point. Well, Tony gets to it quickly.

"I love Puerto Rico."

Kate asks, "You been there a lot?" Hey, it's a reasonable question.

"No! That's just it; I've never been there." *shakes head* Honestly, he's like a big kid.

McDonald was dressed in dress whites--and carrying an officer's ceremonial sword. Huh. But he's enlisted.

Ducky unsheathes the sword, and Gibbs flinches. Hee.

"Now here's something else for the mystery tour--this so-called 'ceremonial sword' is sharp enough to slit someone's throat," Ducky says, holding it really close to Kate's face. "Do you know why they drive on the left-hand side of the road in England? Dates back to medieval times. Most people were--and still are--right-handed. It allowed them to slash at one another," Ducky backs up and begins to swing the sword around, "when passing on horseback." This has been your esoteric fact of the day, from Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard.

Tony and Kate go to Momma McDonald's house to question her. She says he wouldn't have killed himself, because it's a mortal sin. Turns out they're Catholic.

On the USS Foster. Gibbs says about the crew, "To them, we're the Internal Affairs of the Navy."

"So, basically, they hate us."

Tony says, really sarcastically, "No." Gibbs glares at him, and he says, meekly, "Pretty much."

A few minutes later, Kate asks, "We're not all sleeping in here, are we?" Again, it's a good question.

Tony says, "I'll take the couch." Kate looks at him disbelievingly. Tee-hee. I'm not thinking naughty thoughts. Not me. How could you even think such a thing? ;-)

Much later, after lots of investigation, we find out that McDonald was heavily involved in an MMORPG--mass multi-player online role-playing game. Bwah. And Gibbs, yet again, shows his ignorance of pop culture. This is amusing.

Talking to Ducky over the computer. Camera pans onto shot of autopsy in progress--ugh. "You might wanna warn us about what you're working on after lunch, Ducky," Tony says disgustedly.

"Yes, I suppose gazing directly into an exposed digestive system doesn't aid the actual process." Gee, ya think?

Cooool--Abby's playing an RPG. Ducky walks in and watches her. "You know, this reminds me of something..." Abby turns around and looks at him. "...Actually, I can't think of a thing." That's certainly a first.

Ah, so that's why she's playing. If Abby gets into the castle keep, she can find a log of all of the players in the game.

Back to the ship. Gibbs recaps what they have so far, with Tony filling in the blanks of all the names.

"Why do they use such weird names?"

"When you're a computer geek invading dungeons and fighting ogres, Jethro doesn't cut it." Gibbs glares at Tony--he goes by Jethro. Tony backtracks and says, "Neither does Tony."

Tony finagles his way to Puerto Rico--he's going to the Navy exchange to see if he can purchase a sword. He does, and the cashier starts yelling at him in Spanish and throwing things at him.

We've learned something else about Kate--she's Catholic.

Tony calls Gibbs from a beachside bar. The beach is a topless one. When loud music blares in the background and Gibbs asks what it is, Tony replies, "It's music. Don't be so paranoid, Gibbs. You know I'm a professional." Uh-huh. Right. Professional.

They think that McDonald is going to set off a biochemical weapon on board the Foster, but it turns out he was going after the captain, instead. Fortunately, they get the captain out of his quarters just in time.

Abby is recapping the entire scenario for Ducky.

"I'm finding this very hard to understand, Abby," Ducky says.

Abby sighs. "Where did I lose you?"

"I think somewhere around the part about Weylin and Convarres."

"Okay. Seaman McDonald was Weylin."

"Got that."

"And Petty Officer Zuger was Convarres."

"I remember that because it sounds a lot like Canaris."


"German Navy admiral, World War II."

"Okay. Whatever works for you. So we've got McDonald--Weylin--and Zuger--Convarres--battling online in the 'Immortals' game. Zuger always wins. So McDonald challenges him to a fight like, for real. And they both find officer's swords at the Navy exchange in Puerto Rico."

"But they were enlisted."

"Let's say they bought their commissions."

"That was done at one time, you know." Ducky goes to start one of his long-winded anecdotes, and Abby interrupts.

"So they're swordfighting--and McDonald wins. He cuts Zuger; Zuger gets pissed and he goes back to one thing he knows he can beat McDonald at."

"The Immortals."

"Yes. And no. Zuger realizes that McDonald has tripped out, and thought he really was Weylin. So Zuger challenges him to prove it. McDonald puts weights around his waist, jumps ship, and tries to walk across the bottom of the bay to dry land."

"You know, Abby, sometimes the dead make more sense to me than the living."

"Me too," Abby agrees.

And back on the ship, Gibbs, Kate, and Tony are having a great conversation.

"Aren't you interested at all about what I brought you back from Puerto Rico?"



"You've gotta be kidding," Kate says, looking into the bag Tony handed her.

"It's a bikini. Two-piece."

Kate reaches in and pulls out two items. "A bottom. And a hat?"

"Puerto Rican," Tony says innocently

"Any chance you're gonna try that on?" Gibbs asks, smirking.

"You first," Kate replies, throwing the outfit at him.

"Trust me--it's not gonna fit," he says, handing it back to her.

"Pigs. I work with pigs."

At the end, Tony goes back and grabs the bikini bottom Kate threw onto the desk.

My favorite lines of this episode:

"I just got decapitated." Abby, after she loses her game.

"You know I'm a professional." Tony, reporting in from a topless beach.

"Any chance you're gonna try that on?" Gibbs to Kate about the gift "bikini".

Stay tuned for next week's episode of NCIS!
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